one thing after i arrived and i miss it so much

I was very homesick. smelled thealways  scent though far.. I just grind my feet on my second home. Bandung. Yes, about a few hours ago I fell from my travel and step right foot to my place. Although its not quite the same way, the scent is different, but I'm comfortable to stop in it. I don't know how many stories I nock my right at every step. What is clear is only one thing, Bandung really helped me avoid it .. even little by little I forgot about it. Although every time I come home it's always there and often present as a white pen to paper . At least I didn't stay long trapped in the shackles of that, things are really, really hated for somechildren who have them. But I always think about how the situation there? is everything getting better? or worse? sometimes I don't ever want to know the outcome .. selfish? should do so."Don't always feel that you are the most pathetic person in the world" indeed irony, but we need something that does not make us feel not have anyone.it's real

this all about fall in love

Semu

Yakin, yakin dan yakin
ini adalah akhir
dari denting yang berdetak
dalam nadi cerita itu

Remuk
menjalar di tubuh ini
ketika aku meredam
segala asa

Sudah ku pajangkan tegas-tegas
takkan ku ulang lagi
jangan lagi !
lagi dan lagi

Atau aku bermimpi?
pada siang bolong
tapi kemana sang matahari?
teriknya dibawa sang angin

Dan hujan mengiringi setiap jalanku
agar tak kering
tak retak

Kemana?
ku injakkan kakiku untuk melangkah?
sedang disetiap sudut kudapatkan lubang-lubang

Biar saja ia pergi
nanti ia kan kembali
saat ku tak peduli lagi

satu halaman teruntuk yang tercinta

baru saja, 2 orang separuh abad meninggalkan ruangan ini..

yang 3 jam lalu sedang terlelap lalu berbincang-bincang dengan ku, tentang apa yg menjadi hambatan dan apa yang akan diwujudkan.

bernada bijak pada ibuku bahwa hidup tidak untuk dikeluhkan, syukuri selagi kita mampu, syukur apa yang kita miliki. Pemberian Ilahi adalah titipan untuk buah hati.

raut wajahnya tak seceria dulu..

kulitnya tak lagi kencang seperti dahulu..

jemari, lengan, tubuh dan kakinya tak sekuat dulu..

namun tanggungjawabnya selalu menjadi alasan mengapa ia tak pernah kenal lelah..

apakah kau tak takut akan kematian?

jangan bicarakan apa yang sudah saya berikan, tp mari kita syukuri apa yang kita miliki.

Ayah,

apakah kau pernah bermimpi aku memberikanmu kebahagiaan? selagi aku bernafas.

selagi aku muda, bersemangat.

taruh bebanmu dipundakku.

Ayah,

apakah kau takut akan kematian?

umurmu yg sudah lebih dari setengah abad.

aku takut ayah..

sangat takut.

lebih dari apa yang kau takuti.

mari kita berbicara tentang apa yang akan kau lakukan, bukan apa yang sudah kau lakukan.

Ayah, aku akan memberikanmu benih kebahagiaan, tolong tanam dalam hati.

Ibu, aku ingin memberikanmu kebesaran hati, tolong tanam dalam hati.

kita bukan seperti apa yang sudah kita bicarakan pada orang.

aku bukan anak kecil lagi.

namun aku selalu menjadi putri kecil bagi mu.

aku benar-benar takut kehilangan mu Ayah..

dan tak ingin kehilanganmu Ibu..

one of my favorite movies

it's so amazing !! i think i'm in love with this movie! Breaking Dawn part 1. For the second time, i watch Breaking Dawn. So damn this movie make me drift on it.

So cool and full of love, because Edward really keeping and protect Bella, as well as with Jacob. This movie made me interested, so i figure out another movie who played by Robert. Then i found this :

yep, this movie comes after Eclipse. And do you know what? In the end, this movie make me cry because Tyler (robert) was dead on WTC Tragedy. But i love his role as a brother who really cares of his family especially to his sister.

I Think, this movie ough to be emulated. A good brother who fight for his sister to get attention from their father so asn't to end up like him who are frustrated. And Tyler met his loved ones who named Ally (emilie). Their loves story reminds me of the movie A Walk To Remember. Who played by Mandy Moore and Shane West, here's the picture :

are you curious?? Just watch that movies and you'll find the things that u'll be drift on it!

This Should be The Last

Today, my mind is a mess. Perhaps you intended this record that there's always seize the whole mind and my time. Really, I really want to erase all of that memories. Did you know? I don't know what to do, when I really want you there, beside me or when you're really not care about me. Repeatedly, I tried to be patient and wait.. Would you really change? Or am I being turned into what you want? We always like this, debates and disagreements. Your understanding is not my understanding. And my understanding can't always be your understanding. If I could choose, I choose to never care about you. During this time, as far as I can, I always try to muffle it. Always try to understand about all the attitudes, wishes and thoughts. But it turns out, you don't look at all my intention and effort. You always see what I say. You know I'm lying. Is that what you do about people who've you got with difficulty?
What's the matter?
I always try to end it all. But you always managed to poison my mind. You never feel guilty, you never know with all my wishes. Even I never thought that you could leave me all alone down the street at night. Whereas I really want you at that time. You also never want my absence when I really felt lonely. Or have you forgotten how to grateful? But that's not what I want. I just want to be appreciated by you. I just want you to always compliment me. Maybe it was reasonable, because only that can make me smile when it all falls apart.
Or maybe I'm not lucky like you?
Before and or after we ended, many times I wanted to confirm myself that this was the last and I should be. But why? You ruin everything. I'm good, but you go around. I'm bad, and you seemed to be benign. I really really tired. I thought tormented, above all we have ever passed. Thank you for your kindness, and also for what you do for me. It turns out, that we never really get what we want.. 

 I always look forward and try this will be the last for you.

Look at this, this smile's for you :)